How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable
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How though? – extreme example – do they become serial killers?

How does it affect them?

Why does it affect them? If both parents still love them – how/why are they affected?

Children have a mind of their own, there is nothing more beautiful for a child mentally than to see both parents laughing and be happy together, they develop a strong heart based on compassion and love, what they become at old age is moulded at a young age , so everything small thing affects them in moulding them to who they are.

even if the parents divorce with proper understanding,
a child can see that affect when the parents are not around at school, when other kids talk about their parents, being picked on from others ,seeing happy families on the road,it affects them they begin to develop an internal anger of sort cos they cant understand fully like adults do.
These can become qualities.

Also , going to see the other parent during access , if the parent is happy a child can develop some form of anger , as to why he or she could have been happy as a family or even if the other parent is seen as sad then also that can develop into frustration.

Dont forget the stepparents coming into the scene , very rarely they turn out to be very happy.

Children dont become extreme , but can develop habits , getting close to the wrong friends for support, turning to TV and games for consolation support,
developing anger issues , short temper, finding it hard to keep a relationship etc…..

Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable
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Where does this hatred come from? If you’ve been married to someone for an X number of years – then surely you would have some degree of love/mercy for them. Especially if they haven’t wronged you in any way?

Is there such a thing as an ‘amicable’ separation?

It is betrayel isnt it. How can you explain a broken relationship if there was love and understadning all along , where is the logic in that.
The frustration of what went wrong , how could this happen.
In a snap that could turn that love to hurt to anger to hatred.
It is very easy to hate some one when you have loved , cos the history plays right in front of you.
Itis a unique form of feeling that you just take with a heavy heart.

Yes there is amicable seperation, ( in legal terms or face value ) but it never is the case isnt it , something ought to be wrong leading to that.
No sane two people would amicably seperate if they are happy together.
It is widely used to explain a divorce where both parties are in agreement, but it does not talk about the oroblems as both choose not to bring it out rather go seperate ways without any hassle.

REF: Islamic Parenting

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