This is something that is crossing my mind..

I see so many men go into depression mode when divorce happens and the mother cut ties between the child and parent or cause the child to hate the father through parental alienation. Other stories where the wife control the husband through the children, or in divorce the ex-wife cause the ex-husband a miserable life using children as weapon and the father feels victimized because he have no access to his children or say in raising them. As days pass by I am realizing that is stupid. Why let this happen to you? Why go through these emotional torture and hardship? Children should be a reflection of your happiness and not the reason for your happiness. Remember, eventually the child will grow up and he will either kick you out of your own house with your stuff and into the street (especially for dads) or send you to old parent home. Other times the child who do take care of you is waiting for you to die because you are burden on him or her. Very few children do actually have the affection and love for you like in the time of the prophets (peace be upon them).

Ask yourself this question, how many children do pray for their parents when they die? How many children tolerate their parents old age? Nowadays you find that to be uncommon and rare breed. So why do men commit suicide and let their ex’s put them into emotional torture (especially when we discovered scientifically men are weaker in emotions vs women. So it is no different than letting a strong men beat a 100 pound frail women to death, but it is psychological attack instead and we let it happen and accept it). So this thought entered my head, a man should fulfill his duty as a father but should find happiness outside this spectrum all together. His happiness should be exclusively towards worshiping Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) and pleasing Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa). Here where when you put your investment you get unimaginable reward in return, putting your investment on your children or wife is a disaster bound to happen. If a divorce happens and your wife wanted to be evil and cut ties between you and your children and make the children hate you, I learned this now….you know what I say to this, “Do it!” I know I will get my reward in afterlife and the wife will be punished in the afterlife, my revenge will be there and I will have the last laugh. Children want to hate me and cut ties with me? I say, let them. I will return the favor by being angry at them, this door through me will be the door for them in hellfire. In afterlife I will either get all their good deeds and give them all my bad deeds before I will be satisfied or will never forgive them in afterlife or Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) will have something special for me or any father who went through this and I will forgive them then. In the end of it…I still get the final laugh.

So these men who go into depression mode or commit suicide they either have zero imam which in that case they deserve hellfire or stupid which still deserve hellfire. I have immunity against this weapon and I know if all my rights are stripped away from as either a man, husband or father…that is fine with me. I will be trading those rights for something even better and no man, women or child can take that away from me.

REF: Islamic Parenting

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